She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
