my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm always down for nudity.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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