There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My vagina is very pro this idea
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
