Well douche your snatch and let's go!
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
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