he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
