There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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