You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
