operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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