I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
