i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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