i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
