It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
