I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
