its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
My pussy is not your playground.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Did I show you my penis last night?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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