What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
