i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Randomize
