so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
