I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize