Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
