I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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