Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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