guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
