Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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