They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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