I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
