i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
