you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
