Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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