We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
