So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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