I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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