So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
