Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
