My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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