There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
