Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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