Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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