i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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