i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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