What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
