Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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