My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
