She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
she looked like the before picture.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
