I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she told me i tasted like america
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
