a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
