The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize