Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize