My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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