the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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