when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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