You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
