Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
