Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
