Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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