I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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