apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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