It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
