there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
