I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
