its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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