I wannas sexs uuuuu
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
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