I just pynch a tree in the face
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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