No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
