Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
