Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Randomize
