We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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