Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
